Sutapa wrote, “It’s been 4 years and three days since Irrfan left me. Four years? A feeling of guilt sweeps through my body. 4 years we have LIVED without him added with sadness, fear, hopelessness and severe helplessness. And then I thought but still I lived with him more. I knew him since 1984 so that makes 36 years of knowing him more and definitely till I die I would have spent more time with him then without him.”