Earning an Oscar is deemed an aspiration come true, but Nicole Kidman saw it as a wake-up call. In 2003, she won the Academy Award for Best Actress for The Hours, a watershed moment in her career.
However, rather than feeling on top of the world, she experienced a peculiar absenteeism. At the time, the actress was still getting used to life after her divorce from Tom Cruise. But by the time she won that Oscar, her personal life was in an entirely distinct place—one she hadn’t quite figured out yet.
Nicole Kidman discovered something noteworthy that night, surrounded by Hollywood’s most prominent stars. Success in her career wasn’t sufficient. The Hollywood beauty wanted genuine love, which meant it was time to start looking.
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A Night of Triumph That Felt Empty To Nicole Kidman But Made Her Realize Something Deep
When Nicole Kidman won the Oscar, everyone told her she had to celebrate. The Vanity Fair after-party was a convention, and she was uplifted to walk in with her award, soaking in the moment. But she wasn’t sure about it. Carrying the trophy around felt odd to her—almost like showing off.
Still, Kidman went, hoping to enjoy the night. Instead, she felt swamped. Kidman couldn’t fully celebrate, and rather than feeling accomplished, she felt lost. It was supposed to be a big moment, but deep down, she knew something was missing. As the actress said in Dave Karger’s 50 Oscar Nights book via People magazine:
“I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn’t enjoy it. I wish I could have enjoyed it more.” After the party, Kidman returned to her hotel room at The Beverly Hills Hotel instead of staying out late. She sat on the floor with her family, eating French fries and a burger. It was a simple, quiet moment, but it meant everything. That’s when it hit her—she wanted someone to share these moments with.
In her own words, she continued: “That’s when it hit me. I went, ‘I need to find my love; I need a love in my life.’ Because this is supposed to be when you go, ‘This is ours.’” Scoring an Oscar was an incredible achievement, but it did not supersede the gap in her personal life. Kidman began dating after daring to open her heart again. Later that year, she started a relationship with rock musician Lenny Kravitz. They even got engaged, but it failed to pan out.
Even though the engagement wasn’t long, it was a positive start. Nicole Kidman was ready to love again, even if she hadn’t met the right person yet. And she would. When Kidman met country artist Keith Urban in 2005, her life changed forever. They hit it off right away and married a year later. Nearly two decades later, their bond stays strong.
They’ve created a lovely life together, raising their two girls while backing one another’s careers. Looking back, Kidman has made it clear that while winning an Oscar was a wonderful milestone, finding genuine love was the greatest gift of all.
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